“Prayers for Unknown Lovers”

When they break me,
I have to clean
Up the pieces.
When I break them,
I have to do it all
Over again.
It’s a vicious and tedious cycle,
One I always vow never to let
Happen again, no matter how
Unrealistic (anduntrue) it (allofitallofit)
Sounds (ineedtosilenceneedandwant).
But I’ve grown thorns since my
Confession of not loving someone who
Thought I did.
Make my
Next say ten Hail Marys
Before they call me sweet.
Another before they say
I Love You.
Because I don’t know if I’ll mean it
When I say it back.

by CJ



Okay, love, here’s
Another confession since
So good at ’em.
When your black clouds rolled over
Your head, it was me who wanted to hide.
I wanted to break my phone
After every “I’m so mad.”
Your lips never tasted like honey
And pretending so was a waste of energy.
Choking out all the I love yous was harder
Than I had imagined.
Yours always seemed desperate.
As if you know I was going to walk out.
And when I did, it wasn’t just your I love
Yous that sounded like they were clinging
To me.
Your apologies drowned me and I couldn’t
I think after all that,
Love sounds pretty raw.
Doesn’t it?

by CJ